Punish that car for the Lord, Mr. Schwab!

Hi this is Enos again, the voice of Christ in the heathen wilderness of this web page. I know I have been gone for a while, but I was just waiting to find a story powerful enough to let you see how God’s glory shines through in this world.

Today I found it.

A few days ago, just outside of San Antonio Texas, a good Christian man by the name of Michael E. Schwab was driving down Route 281. Now I don’t know why he thought he was there, but he was there for God’s work whether he knew it or not.

So he was driving along and he saw this woman who, as he said, “was not driving like a Christian”. Normally he probably would have just said “God bless her!” and prayed for her, but this time was different. This time “God said … she needed to be taken off the road.”

Thankfully Jesus had blessed Michael with a powerful truck capable of of catching her and getting her off the road, so he hit the gas until he got up over 100 miles an hour and then he just rammed her back side in the name of the Lord!

Of course the Lord knew what he was doing, and both of them came out alive with only minor injuries, but just think about what could have happened if he hadn’t listened and rammed her car off the road!

She might have run over a bus load of cripple children, or she could have run her car right up into a church to crush a manger scene and disrespect the baby Jesus! There’s just no telling what someone might do if they’re not driving like Christians.

If you were driving and you saw a woman who wasn’t driving like a Christian, and the Lord came to you just like he did with Michael, and He said she wasn’t driving right, would you have the courage of your Christian faith to carry out God’s will?

Like Mr. Schwab told the police officers after the accident, “it was Jesus’ will for him to punish the car”, and that should be enough for any good follower of Christ, so next time you hear that little voice telling you to stop someone who’s driving like a Muslim or to throw a burlap sack over the shamelessly displayed tender nubile young body of some whored-up little teenager at the Mall, you best obey!

Your friend in Christ,
P. Enos Young

2 thoughts on “Punish that car for the Lord, Mr. Schwab!

  1. I promise you that when I read this headline a few days ago on AOL or wherever I thought to myself: “I bet Better Than Faith will make something of this” … and, alas, here it is!

    *sigh*
    vocab

  2. There are always going to be lunatics, regardless of religion or lack thereof… Still, this is pretty funny and it’s just the sort of thing Enos here thinks is acceptable. *shakes fist*

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